Tag: Love

Loving in the “Absence” of Love

Anyone who's ventured into the dating world knows that only the lucky few emerge completely unscathed. Most of us are bound to face a disappointment or two, to make a mistake or two, to have had our hearts broken or to have faced the difficult decision of breaking someone else's. You win some and you ...

letter writing

Letters from Past Loves

I continue to be amazed by the various times I've received what I call “letters from past loves" … or rather, long text messages that read like letters from people who are no longer in my life in the same capacity, but who continue to mutually share a profound reverence and gratitude for the fact ...

Top 4 Lessons I Learned from the Past Year

A part of me was somewhat reluctant to look back at the past year—not because it was particularly atrocious, but because it was tinted with a bittersweet note. Looking back at wonderful memories also reminds me of the people I shared them with who are no longer in my life in the same capacity they ...

Man kissing woman on the forehead.

The Myth of Needing to “Have Everything Together” Before Being Worthy of Love

I used to think I had to have everything together before being ready for a relationship—like I had to be completely healed from all my past traumas, to have resolved all my existential crises, and to know exactly who I was and what I was doing with my life in order to be worthy of ...

Woman gesturing "shh" with her pointer finger over her lips.

Learning to Tell the Truth, Even If It Hurts

Early childhood experiences led me to believe that my real opinions and feelings didn't matter. I learned that the quickest way to gain approval was through compliance and agreeableness, and that I was responsible for regulating people's emotions for them, even if it meant abandoning myself. Whatever would cause less friction, keep the peace, or ...

Free to Love: Reflections on Fulfillment & Validation

I am no stranger to the aches and pains of yearning to be loved. Even though we're often told to be fully satisfied in God's love, many of us still yearn for that human kind of love, the genuine connection between two people to walk together as companions in life. But it is a danger ...

To Love is to Be Vulnerable

I've never been an open book. I've always been guarded, never wearing my heart on my sleeve, "opaque" rather than "transparent," and fairly difficult to read (at least that's what I've been told). Yet despite being reserved, I still believe that allowing myself to be vulnerable and to share my life with others (even if it's just a few ...

Meaningful Encounters

I am often afraid of what I need the most. Intimacy is one of them. And I'm not just narrowly talking about 'romantic' intimacy. I'm talking about the kind of intimacy that all human beings need to function: a slightly higher degree of closeness, trust, and vulnerability with certain people.  While I'm definitely working on ...

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Moments of Impact

My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down, actually end up defining who we are. The thing is, each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced with all ...

Relationships: An Investment You’ll Never Regret

Valentine's Day might seem like a cheap marketing trick designed to make singles feel worse about themselves (and maybe it is), but it also reminds us of something simple yet profound: that all relationships, romantic and non-romantic, are truly worth celebrating. We need people. This seems obvious, but 'independence' and 'individualism' are so prized these days ...