fork in the road

Healing the Fear of Making the Wrong Decision

Growing up in a religious environment, there had always been an emphasis on discerning and following "God's will" for one's life. There was this notion that God had a plan for every single one of us and that our job was to do our best to yield to that plan—ranging from following whatever vocation we ...

Top 4 Lessons I Learned from the Past Year

A part of me was somewhat reluctant to look back at the past year—not because it was particularly atrocious, but because it was tinted with a bittersweet note. Looking back at wonderful memories also reminds me of the people I shared them with who are no longer in my life in the same capacity they ...

Change is Hard: Why Knowing This Frees Us From Shame

It occurred to me that most of the things I say in this blog aren't exactly new; they're simply reminders of things that people already know but perhaps forgot. Most of us already know that we should, in theory, love ourselves. We know that authenticity is better than self-abandonment or chronic people-pleasing. We know that ...

bandage

Ripping the Bandaid Off: A Metaphor for Healing

I threw some bandages over some small cuts I had, because they stung like crazy whenever I showered or whenever they scraped against materials. What I didn't realize was that the bandages would end up irritating my skin even more; apparently I had some kind of allergic reaction to the adhesive. I eventually had no ...

How to Overcome Perfectionism (“Never Good Enough”)

No matter how hard I worked or how much I achieved, I NEVER FELT GOOD ENOUGH. If I fell short of my unrealistically high standards, I would beat myself up (metaphorically) and label myself as completely inadequate—not just in terms of the task at hand, but as a human being. What seemed like the pursuit ...

Overcome Anxiety by Committing to Your Values

Although avoiding anxiety-provoking situations might seem like a good idea, the truth is that this only WORSENS our anxiety in the long run. When dealing with anxiety, sometimes the only way is through it rather than around it. The good news is that it's still possible to live an incredibly rich, expansive, and meaningful life ...

How to Stop Being Jealous of Someone Else’s Success

You know the feeling: someone announces good news on social media and suddenly you feel a pang of envy—that odd combination of admiration mixed with insecurity and the sense of feeling threatened by someone else's success, while simultaneously feeling ashamed of yourself for feeling this way in the first place. It's so easy to fall ...

The Space Where Healing Happens

A few weeks ago, something happened that triggered me. By "triggered", I don't mean being overly sensitive or easily offended (as the word seems to suggest these days). I mean that something happened, which was so reminiscent of a traumatic memory from my past, that I literally felt as if I had been transported back ...

Express Your Truth and Stop Self-Abandoning

As children, many of us learned that self-abandonment was the way to gain approval and love, and that we were responsible for regulating other people's emotions, trapping us in a cycle of unhealthy people-pleasing and codependency. While it's easy to hide our true selves (our thoughts, opinions, and feelings) to appease others, it is ultimately ...

Struggling with Low Self-Worth? Picture This.

As someone who has struggled with feelings of low self-worth for most of my life, I wanted to share an analogy with you that utterly transformed the way I understood the notion of one’s “value” as a human being. I hope this video helps you remember your dignity and to love yourself a little more—especially ...

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