Tag: Self-Improvement

Top 4 Lessons I Learned from the Past Year

A part of me was somewhat reluctant to look back at the past year—not because it was particularly atrocious, but because it was tinted with a bittersweet note. Looking back at wonderful memories also reminds me of the people I shared them with who are no longer in my life in the same capacity they ...

Change is Hard: Why Knowing This Frees Us From Shame

It occurred to me that most of the things I say in this blog aren't exactly new; they're simply reminders of things that people already know but perhaps forgot. Most of us already know that we should, in theory, love ourselves. We know that authenticity is better than self-abandonment or chronic people-pleasing. We know that ...

bandage

Ripping the Bandaid Off: A Metaphor for Healing

I threw some bandages over some small cuts I had, because they stung like crazy whenever I showered or whenever they scraped against materials. What I didn't realize was that the bandages would end up irritating my skin even more; apparently I had some kind of allergic reaction to the adhesive. I eventually had no ...

Woman floating in the water.

A Small New Year’s Reminder

As the new year approaches, we can't help but look back at the past year and consider how far we've come and where we're heading next. For many of us, 2020 has felt like being in quicksand: as much as we've tried to wriggle ourselves free, we can't help but feel somewhat stuck. Many of ...

Man looking at his reflection in a puddle.

20/20 Vision: A Year of Awareness

At the start of 2020, people used the hashtag #2020vision to describe how they would pursue their new year's resolutions with razor sharp focus. That, of course, was drastically put on hold, as we progressed through the very year that would derail everyone's plans. My experience was similar: rather than pursuing my goals with absolute ...

Man kissing woman on the forehead.

The Myth of Needing to “Have Everything Together” Before Being Worthy of Love

I used to think I had to have everything together before being ready for a relationship—like I had to be completely healed from all my past traumas, to have resolved all my existential crises, and to know exactly who I was and what I was doing with my life in order to be worthy of ...

Woman gesturing "shh" with her pointer finger over her lips.

Learning to Tell the Truth, Even If It Hurts

Early childhood experiences led me to believe that my real opinions and feelings didn't matter. I learned that the quickest way to gain approval was through compliance and agreeableness, and that I was responsible for regulating people's emotions for them, even if it meant abandoning myself. Whatever would cause less friction, keep the peace, or ...

Enjoying vs. Enduring Life — Which One Are You Doing?

Last week, Vancouver was hit with its first snowfall of the season. As expected, the rain-accustomed city basically shut down when the snow reached its peak; bridges started to close, buses stopped running, cars got stuck, and classes got cancelled. And, sure enough, my lovely but prone-to-worry mother sent me a flood of texts urging ...

For A New Beginning

This past year has been very special for me, to say the least. It was the year I finally listened to a strong ache for change that had been gnawing at me for some time now. I finally stopped making excuses and did what I had to do to get to a new state, and ...

If Growth Feels Like Destruction, Don’t Fret — It’s Normal.

Growth is extremely exciting, admittedly humbling, terribly frightening, yet ultimately necessary. We tend to romanticize growth as an exciting time of flourishing and transformation, of trading our former lives for improved versions of ourselves. And most of the time, that is the case. But we often overlook the fact that growth can also be very ...