Tag: Inspiration

Top 4 Lessons I Learned from the Past Year

A part of me was somewhat reluctant to look back at the past year—not because it was particularly atrocious, but because it was tinted with a bittersweet note. Looking back at wonderful memories also reminds me of the people I shared them with who are no longer in my life in the same capacity they ...

Change is Hard: Why Knowing This Frees Us From Shame

It occurred to me that most of the things I say in this blog aren't exactly new; they're simply reminders of things that people already know but perhaps forgot. Most of us already know that we should, in theory, love ourselves. We know that authenticity is better than self-abandonment or chronic people-pleasing. We know that ...

How to Overcome Perfectionism (“Never Good Enough”)

No matter how hard I worked or how much I achieved, I NEVER FELT GOOD ENOUGH. If I fell short of my unrealistically high standards, I would beat myself up (metaphorically) and label myself as completely inadequate—not just in terms of the task at hand, but as a human being. What seemed like the pursuit ...

Overcome Anxiety by Committing to Your Values

Although avoiding anxiety-provoking situations might seem like a good idea, the truth is that this only WORSENS our anxiety in the long run. When dealing with anxiety, sometimes the only way is through it rather than around it. The good news is that it's still possible to live an incredibly rich, expansive, and meaningful life ...

Express Your Truth and Stop Self-Abandoning

As children, many of us learned that self-abandonment was the way to gain approval and love, and that we were responsible for regulating other people's emotions, trapping us in a cycle of unhealthy people-pleasing and codependency. While it's easy to hide our true selves (our thoughts, opinions, and feelings) to appease others, it is ultimately ...

Woman floating in the water.

A Small New Year’s Reminder

As the new year approaches, we can't help but look back at the past year and consider how far we've come and where we're heading next. For many of us, 2020 has felt like being in quicksand: as much as we've tried to wriggle ourselves free, we can't help but feel somewhat stuck. Many of ...

Man looking at his reflection in a puddle.

20/20 Vision: A Year of Awareness

At the start of 2020, people used the hashtag #2020vision to describe how they would pursue their new year's resolutions with razor sharp focus. That, of course, was drastically put on hold, as we progressed through the very year that would derail everyone's plans. My experience was similar: rather than pursuing my goals with absolute ...

Woman gesturing "shh" with her pointer finger over her lips.

Learning to Tell the Truth, Even If It Hurts

Early childhood experiences led me to believe that my real opinions and feelings didn't matter. I learned that the quickest way to gain approval was through compliance and agreeableness, and that I was responsible for regulating people's emotions for them, even if it meant abandoning myself. Whatever would cause less friction, keep the peace, or ...

Photographs of past memories displayed on a woman's bed.

Nostalgia: Reverence for the Moments that Shape Our Lives

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss It's crazy how smallest things can trigger a sense of nostalgia. Like the smell of cigarette smoke, reminding you of the first time you moved out of home to live in that dingy apartment that you adored, ...

My grandmother's memoir, written by hand in nine notebooks.

My Grandmother’s Memoir: Finding Meaning for the Past, Present, and Future

I never really knew my grandmother. But that all changed when I discovered she had begun writing her own memoir. It turned out that nine notebooks that made up my grandmother's memoir had been sent to my mom in Canada from the Philippines several years ago. They were handwritten in English and Tagalog, collecting dust ...