Top 4 Life Lessons from 2024

2024 was the Year of Plot Twists.

Never would I have imagined that the second half of 2024 would look so drastically different from the first half of 2024—so much that I’ve opted not to make a recap video this year like I usually do on New Year’s Eve, because it would be too, well, awkward. (I laugh and cry just thinking about it.) Some people who welcomed the new year with me are no longer by my side to bid it farewell. Some people I thought would be main characters for the rest of my life only turned out to be passing ones. Who would have thought?

Nonetheless, I have learned to embrace everything rather than dismissing the difficult parts. Who am I to pretend that the memories I made during the first half of 2024 were any less lovely just because the person I made them with is no longer in my life? Who am I to act as if the second half of 2024 was nothing but a shitty dumpster fire of heartbreak, when it was actually so much better than that?

As tempting as it is to label “Act I” as the era of being in a relationship and “Act II” as the era of heartbreak, the truth is that my life did not end after the relationship ended. I still managed to finish 2024 strong, even though it was different from how I expected it to be.

So I wanted to share with you my Top 4 Life Lessons from 2024:

1. I learned that it is possible to build a beautiful life that is not dependent on a relationship status.

As cliché as it sounds, I already did love my life before I even got into a relationship. I never needed it; it was the cherry on top of an already amazing sundae. In fact, I experienced growing pains as I adjusted to being in a relationship, because it meant giving up certain things about the my life that I had prided myself for as a single person. As weird as it sounds, I experienced a mini identity crisis.

When my relationship ended and I found myself flooded with love from other people in my life who swooped in to the rescue—friends and family, even titas and titos—I knew I had done something right. How could it be that I was grieving the loss of someone I had loved deeply, yet still be surrounded by an abundance of love? How could I be mourning the loss of amazing memories I had created with someone who meant a lot to me, yet still be in the process of creating new memories with the people who stayed?

The fact that my life did not end just because one era did says a lot about the life I had built: something that was grounded in so much more than a singular person.

This was why even though the loss of the relationship felt like an amputation, it wasn’t fatal: I was still living. I could still function without it. I had a life before it, and I still had a life after it. I still had a lot going for me. My entire identity did not depend on a relationship status. It showed me just how substantial my life really was.

2. I learned that it is possible to already be “living the dream” while still waiting for other dreams to come true.

Obviously certain things did not work out the way I hoped they would in 2024. I am still in that in-between state of letting go of what’s died, while still waiting for what is to come. But it is important to acknowledge the parts of our lives that are working out and not let them get overshadowed by disappointments.

By far, my biggest victory of 2024 was being able to say that I genuinely love myself. This is not a pompous declaration to overcompensate for deep-seated insecurities. This is a revelation that suddenly dawned on me when I realized that I hadn’t thought about “hating myself” in a really long time. The thought rarely crossed my mind anymore—which was unheard of, because it used to be the only thing I could thing of.

I began to realize that I actually liked the person that I was; that I felt okay with my flaws, no longer obsessing over trying to change them; and that I felt more comfortable in my own skin than I have in my entire life. The change was so evident that even my supervisor at work pointed it out, not to mention friends and family! The craziest thing is that I have not become a new person at all; I am simply becoming who I always was, before the trauma came along. (Thank you, EMDR therapy!)

The ability to say that I genuinely like myself was something I had once only dreamed of. For decades, it was all I ever wanted. It was the only real dream I had. And now I was living the dream—a dream I thought just wasn’t in the cards for me. That’s why even though 2024 was filled with heartbreak, disappointment, and crushed dreams, it was still simultaneously the year that my dreams came true.

Isn’t that strange? How the same year that demolished your dreams could also be the year that fulfilled them? How the year you lost love could also be the year you learned to love yourself?

Which leads to my third life lesson:

3. I learned that life is a series of “both/ands”, where contradictory experiences can coexist at the same time.

Thinking in extremes is like saying that life can only be ‘tragic’ or ‘beautiful’, but never ‘tragically beautiful’. It’s like saying that life can only be ‘bitter’ or ‘sweet’, but never ‘bittersweet’. To gaslight ourselves into thinking that only one state can exist at a time is to rob ourselves from holding the complexity of life with tenderness. Because the truth is that life is often both.

This was surprisingly key to my healing.

It gave me permission to honour what was, while also grieving what no longer is. It gave me permission to feel the depths of my grief, while also feeling the immensity of my gratitude. It taught me that I did not have to discount certain parts of my experience in order to feel better. I could embrace it all.

I learned that it is possible to be both happy and sad at the same time, which is crucial, because that is how the healing journey is: you have to carry both states at once. Otherwise, you will grow very discouraged when you lapse back into a state of grief just as you thought you were starting to heal. It is not an ‘either/or’ experience, where you are either healing or grieving. It is a ‘both/and’ experience, where you can both grieve and heal at the same time. Grief is part of the healing process. That is why realizing this is so freeing.

On a related note is the fourth life lesson:

4. I learned that you don’t have to demonize anyone in order to feel better about yourself.

The thing about heartbreak is that it is far too easy to become bitter, resentful, or calloused if you aren’t careful. And while that may feel justified at first, it certainly isn’t healing. And the goal is to actually heal.

I won’t lie: I enjoyed Sabrina Carpenter’s album during my breakup because it was so stupidly petty. Sometimes the ‘petty/sassy’ energy that shouts, “He never deserved me anyway!” can be kind of fun. This phase serves a purpose: it shifts the energy from sad to somewhat empowered. But it should only be a passing phase, not a long-term strategy, because if left unchecked, it can create bitterness and resentment, keeping us stuck in our hurt.

It was much more healing for me to realize that I didn’t have to demonize someone just because they broke my heart. It is possible for someone to not choose me and still be a good person.

This is eye-opening, because the ego usually rushes to come up with extreme narratives to protect its injured pride in the face of rejection. The ego says, “If you didn’t choose me, it must mean there is something wrong with you, because I am perfectly fine!” Or the voice of insecurity says, “If you didn’t choose me, that must mean there is something inherently wrong with me.” It takes a lot of emotional maturity to realize that neither of these extreme ways of thinking are true.

No one has to “lose” in a breakup. No one has to be classified as a “villain” or a “victim”. It is possible for two wonderful people to almost be great for each other—but not great enough.

Like I said: life is often “both/and” rather than just “either/or”. We can be both great people and still not perfect for each other. This is why I advocate for thinking in a more balanced, less extreme way: it accelerates healing. It helps us forgive and let go. It frees us from the shackles of bitterness and resentment. It paves the way for gratitude to transform our lives and make space for new blessings to arrive.

So as 2024 comes to a close, I hope you can also embrace the blessings and the heartaches. I hope you can make space for the complexity of life without having to dismiss any facet of your story. I hope you can build a vibrant life that doesn’t entirely collapse at the end of an era. I hope you can recognize all the ways you are already “living the dream”, even if other dreams have yet to come true.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you a Happy New Year. May 2025 be everything it needs to be. 🥂✨

– Celine (@itscelinediaz)